Mysterical-E

He Said, She Says

Power Walking

by Tim Matson

That bitch!

June Willis had stopped in her tracks, the five pound dumbbells suspended in mid air with her chubby hands. Her blazing eyes were locked on her neighbor from across the street, Marion (“Mary” to her friends, “that snotty bitch” to June) Hathaway. Mary was standing next to Edward near his rose garden, chatting away as if they didn’t have a care in the world. After all the work June had put into this.

Mary was wearing a pink jogging suit with rhinestones attached along the side of the legs. Her hair was perfectly coiffed, and her makeup was perfect.

That bitch!

June looked down at own clothes, and found herself lacking. A non-descript gray hooded sweatshirt, and a matching pair of worn out sweat pants. She felt the rivers of perspiration that had collected under her arms and down the middle of her chest, and was sure there were stains. The rolls of fat that had gathered over the years certainly weren’t much help, and she was sure she stank like a dead horse. How could she compete with this woman? Why did some people have to work constantly at looking good, and people like that snotty bitch look good without doing anything? It wasn’t fair.

Something must be done.

Dr. Edward Johnson became the most eligible bachelor in Springville since he moved there two short months ago.   He was tall, handsome and distinguished, with a thick head of hair complimented with streaks of gray at his temples. The first time June saw him, she actually went weak at the knees. Not to put the memory of Earl down, but he had passed so long ago and she was sure that he wouldn’t mind. In the end, her husband was nothing like when he was alive—truly alive---his eyes dancing and a ready smile on his lips. But ravaged by cancer, he never gave her any encouragement to find someone else after he was gone. Too many chemo treatments and pain killing drugs left him a drooling mess.

She was quite sure that after all this time, he would be at peace if she found happiness again. So she gave herself permission to fall in love with Edward from afar, having fantasies that she hadn’t had since she was very young. She never voiced these feelings to Edward, knowing in her heart that once they met, it would come naturally. In June’s mind, it was just a matter of time; casually stop along the way on her circuitous power walking route, talk to Edward and show him she was trying to lose those stubborn extra pounds, charm him with her sparkling personality, lightly invite him to dinner, and go about the business that men and women have been doing since the world first began.

And now that bitch was going to ruin all of June’s plans.

We’ll see about that.

She began to walk again, her arms swinging wildly with the dumbbells, smiling and waving at the both of them while seething with hatred inside. They both waved back, and that snotty bitch had the nerve to wink at June, knowing full well what she was doing.

That bitch! We’ll see about that!

When she got home, June took a shower and began to think of plans. Every idea was immediately discarded only to be replaced with one a little wilder than the one before. There had to be a way to make Edward believe that they were meant for each other, and the only way to do that was to get rid of the competition. June didn’t think she would stand up to the comparison.
June was dumpy and fat, Mary was thin and beautiful. If only Mary had never moved here; if only June had taken better care of herself.

Would of, could of, and should of.

June dressed, and then began to clean her already immaculate house, walking from room to room, turning on lights and furiously dusting areas already cleaned. Lights were turned on, then off. On, then off. Night came and June was exhausted, and finally went to bed. She couldn’t get comfortable in the bed; burning up with body heat, freezing without the covers, and an irritating twitch on the left side of her face.

The next day began with bright sunshine and birds singing, but June wasn’t in the mood. She completely forgot her morning shower, put on her gray jogging suit, and went for her walk. Her knuckles were white where she gripped the dumbbells, and the swings of her arms were jerky and unpredictable. The sun was now full just above the horizon, the warmth heating up the sidewalk. As she approached Edward’s house, certain new things came into focus that June had never seen before. There were pink flamingos on his lawn, and cute garden gnomes guarding a white lattice archway that was decorated with pink roses. The window overlooking the garden was stained glass, in the shape of a multi-colored rainbow.

She stopped and stared at this beauty, and tried to stop the twitching in her cheek. The vision rolled out of focus briefly, and then came back again with alarming clarity as she saw Mary coming up the sidewalk carrying a hot dish pan covered in tinfoil.

She was bringing him...food. She made Edward...dinner!

That bitch!

The twitching became more pronounced as a mist of red filled June’s left eye. She started to walk quickly toward Mary, the dumbbells swinging wildly.

Mary looked up and smiled innocently. “Well, well, if it isn’t June. Still fighting a losing battle against the fat, huh?”

June didn’t hesitate and walked straight up to Mary and swung one of the dumbbells into the side of Mary’s head. Blood sprayed the side of June’s face as she swung again, this time smashing a blow directly across Mary’s nose. She heard the bone and cartilage snap as she began to giggle.

Such a nice sound, that cracking noise.

Mary’s body fell to the sidewalk and her legs and arms began to convulse. June dropped to her knees and started to hit Mary’s face repeatedly with the dumbbell, blood splatter covering her gray sweat suit.

The red mist was just beginning to clear when June heard a voice.

“Oh my God! Oh my God!”

June looked up and saw a man running out of Edward’s house. He was wearing a pair of red shorts and a tight white T-shirt. His eyes were wild and long shiny earrings flashed in the morning light. Edward was running out of the house behind him.

“June! What on earth? Kevin! Kevin! Don’t look! You know how the sight of blood upsets you!” Edward pulled Kevin close to him, and turned his head away from the grisly scene.

Edward said to Kevin, “Go in the house and call 911! Your first day here, and now this...”
Kevin ran sobbing into the house, and Edward turned back to June. “Have you lost your mind? Why would you do this?” His eyes switched quickly back and forth between June and what was left of Mary.

June, the red mist completely gone, her eyes big and round, said, “Kevin? He’s your...?”
Confusion crossed Edward’s face as he spluttered, “Kevin...my partner...”

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