Love, Resentment, and Understanding:
The Citizen and the Police Officer

by Frank Zafiro

Police officers occupy a very unique position within our nation. While deeply revered by some and reviled by others, most citizens seem to have a curious mixture of love and resentment (and a lack of understanding) toward the men and women in blue. Why is this?

Getting at the heart of this question isn't particularly simple. That is because there are several things, in my opinion at least, that are at work.

On one level, we have the sheep-dog syndrome. This oft-used analogy (or is it more of a metaphor?) casts the citizenry in the role of sheep, the criminal in the role of the wolf and the cop as sheep-dog. If you think about this for a moment, you'll see that it fairly accurately depicts the different roles of these individuals in our society today.

The dynamics work something like this: when the wolf isn't around, the flock resents the presence and the authority of the sheep-dog. When the wolf appears, however, the flock wants and needs the sheep-dog. It is a love-hate relationship, depending on the situation. Thus, a citizen resents the police when s/he gets stopped for speeding, but is happy to see the uniform after dialing 911 in the dark hours of the night because someone is trying to break through their window.

Why do the citizens resent the cops when the wolves aren't around? I believe part of it is that no one wants to feel like they need that sort of help to begin with. We're Americans, for Pete's sake. We're self-reliant. We don't want to believe that, to paraphrase the attributed words of George Orwell, we sleep peaceably in our beds at night only because rough men (and women) stand ready to do violence on our behalf. We can handle the rough stuff ourselves. Or so we like to think.

Likewise, when the immediate need isn't apparent, it does seem like an ungainly amount of authority to grant to someone, doesn't it? It flies in the face of our rebellious beginnings, thumbing our collective noses at George III across the Atlantic .

To muddy the waters further, the sheep-dog isn't just watching out for wolves. S/he's catching the sheep when they stray, too. So the resentment of authority exists from that angle as well.

Of course, we don't do ourselves any favors--"we" being the cops.

Cases of corruption or excessive force blare out at the citizenry whenever they occur. And they should. Both are a betrayal of trust. Violations like that should (and they sure do) get significant media play. People deserve to know. I want them to know. But I want them to also realize that instances like this get the coverage because they involve police. Except for the Enrons and such, most other scandals get considerably less exposure. And that is how it should be. But when these incidents occur, they breed resentment.

Another way we don't do ourselves any favors is attitude. Or, at least, the attitude that is perceived. Cops tend to be type-A folks. We can and do come across as curt, judgmental, arrogant or badge-heavy. Why is that? Well, a few people really are that way, unfortunately. Get any group of one hundred people together and you'll always have a few assholes. It's plain old odds at work there. In the majority of cases, however, where that kind of behavior occurs, it is a reaction to the job.

Here's what I mean--three things, really. One, Officer Safety is drummed deep into the psyche of every new cop. It is imperative that officers maintain an awareness level that is several notches higher than the average citizen at all times. It is important that s/he always adhere to certain tactics to remain safe. You never know which person is going to be the one who attacks you or someone else, so you have to practice good officer safety all of the time. Of course, this has the net effect of making the officer appear suspicious, guarded and distant, which is often translated into arrogance by the citizen on the receiving end of it.

Cynicism is number two. Especially if an officer works graveyard for an extended period of time, though it happens regularly on every shift, the experiences that s/he encounters are not usually pleasant ones. You see the dark side of human nature day in and day out. You see the spouses cheating (or beating) on each other, the drug use, the petty theft, child abuse and every other terrible thing ranging from 1-10 on the scale of bad human behavior. Couple that with the fact that virtually everyone lies to you. I once commented that I knew when someone was telling me the truth before even examining the words themselves because hearing the truth just felt strange. "Something's not right here,” I'd think, then realize, “Oh, he must be telling the truth."

This epidemic of lying is not widespread across society (is it? I hope not), but it is pretty wide-spread in the circles that cops travel while on the job. And seeing bad things and being lied to constantly grinds on a person. Again, this weary cynicism leaks out when in contact with a regular citizen and is often misinterpreted as arrogance or being a jerk.

The third reaction is isolation. I've been lucky not to have succumbed to this particular danger...at least not entirely. The key is to have activities outside of the job, which I do--writing, family, playing hockey, and so forth. You have to have relationships outside of law enforcement. But police officers are easily hemmed into an isolated existence where everyone you do something with, on or off the job, is also a cop. Why does this happen?

My opinion is that there are only two professions which cause people to behave differently and to treat you differently when they discover that is what you do--police officers and clergy.

Think about it for a moment. Yeah, if someone finds out you're a doctor, they might lift their shirt and ask, "Does this look infected to you?" Or if you're a lawyer, they might try to cadge some free advice. But they don't generally behave differently, nor do they treat you differently, at least not to an extreme degree.

When I go play hockey, I want to be Frank the Goalie, not Frank the Cop. When I do a book appearance, I definitely want to be Frank the Author. Why? Because people treat you differently as soon as they know you're a cop.

I wrote a story called "Walking Through" that will appear in the debut issue of Lavender Raven sometime next year. In it, a gay cop is worried about being outed because he knows the other cops will treat him differently. Under the surface of that story is a metaphor for this different-treatment syndrome.

If people treat you differently because you're a cop, you only have two options. The more difficult of the two is getting to know that person well enough that your profession is no longer your identity in their eyes. This can take a long time and sometimes just never happens. The other option? Hang out with other cops. You being a cop is nothing special to them because they're cops, too. It is this second option that can lead to isolation.

So the next time a cop behaves like an Adam Henry (a little phonetic lingo for you there), consider the possibility that he may just be one. But more likely, it could be a defense mechanism.

Either way, another thing to consider is that police work is slowly moving in a different direction. The ultimate power that cops used to hold is waning, though the process is slower in some places than others. Citizens recognize that the cops work for them and the police agencies are gradually adopting more community-oriented, service-oriented styles of policing. This shift is in its infancy and is up against 150+ years of history, but I think the course is a good one and the change inevitable, as long as it doesn't go too far.

What do I mean by too far? Simply this: police work is a contact sport, rated R for violence, profanity, sexual content and disturbing images. That will never change, unless the very nature of mankind changes. Until it does, civilized society will always need warriors who are willing to confront those wolves and do battle with them where necessary.

Most civilians (rightfully) find that conflict distasteful. It is admittedly ugly at times. And there is a great deal of ignorance from the public as to what it takes to handle different dangerous situations and routinely survive...especially when the survival of your opponent is also your responsibility. For instance, it is much easier to simply defeat someone by beating the tar out of them than it is to get someone under control. Any guy who has wrestled around with his girlfriend, usually smaller and not as strong, can attest to that. Yet some people object to four or five officers handling a single suspect as excessive.

My point is not that there are not cases of excessive force out there. Clearly, there have been. But there are far more cases of misunderstood, but necessary, uses of force.

Back to finding conflict distasteful. Sometimes this distaste translates into resentment towards the officer who confronts the conflict instead of simply remaining focused on regret or frustration that the conflict must exist at all. In that person's mind, it becomes the cop's fault because he is the one who engages it. This is, I think, lazy thinking. The citizen in this instance just wants someone to blame and for some reason, chooses the police officer. Had the officer chosen not to engage, you can bet that there would be resentment over that inaction.

Back to the "too far" thread. A veteran told me once that when he looked at many of our new hires, he saw a bunch of people "who had their lunch money taken away from them in school." When I looked at who he specifically pointed out, it was hard to argue the point. In what I think are good intentions to professionalize law enforcement, hiring practices have begun to lean toward more educated, more diverse (and I mean skills here) recruits. To my mind, that is a good thing...as long as within those recruits still beats the heart of a warrior. Because the wolves will come.

Law enforcement today is a profession which requires a breadth of skills. One must be intelligent enough to know and apply the law, keeping up with cases that alter the interpretation of that law.

You have to be able to talk effectively with a five-year-old child, a ninety-five year-old grandparent, a rape victim and an armed suspect.

You have to be able to write a technical police report that will be scrutinized by dozens of people, sometimes years later.

You have to be able to present yourself well in court.

You have to develop your skills at judgment to a point where decisions can be made in an instant...decisions that others will spend hours and days questioning.

You have to be athletic enough to drive fast, chase someone and take them into custody with the least amount of force necessary to do the job.

Along those same lines, you have to be enough of a warrior to roll in an alley with an opponent who is bigger than you, stronger than you, supremely motivated because prison is waiting for him. And you have to win. Every time.

You have to be of superlative character and not abuse the authority you have been granted in any way.

You have to be willing, at any time, to take risks that most of civilians will never face even once in their lives.

Why does anyone do it? I don't know. Some folks do it for the wrong reasons, some for the right reasons. If it is a calling of sorts, that's the right reason. To help people. To serve. To make a difference. All good reasons.

Maybe another reason is simply because you can. And since the percentage of people who can do this job well isn't high (and becomes smaller as more diverse skill sets are added to the job requirement), there is almost a social responsibility for the person who can accept the responsibility to do so.

Maybe whatever drove me to be a cop is what also drove me to become a goaltender. I play recreational hockey and after about seven seasons, I transitioned to goalie. The position is a lot like police work. You have an important responsibility within the context of the game – you're the last line of defense in front of the net. You also come under scrutiny and judgment from others, many of whom don't understand the nature of what you do. Jacques Plante, a legendary goaltender for the Montreal Canadiens, once said, "How would you like a job where every time you make a mistake, a red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"

Yeah, police work is like that sometimes.

It's a tough job, but it is worth it. The pay is fair. Every once in a while, someone says thank you in a meaningful fashion.

And besides, someone has to watch for the wolves.